The Artsaypunk

Well, here’s a new one. A recipe request on the blog. Somewhere down in comment-land, thanks to the nugatory non-sequiturs of the grammatically challenged SD, the topic of my world famous beer-butt chicken arose. And by world famous, I mean to say that my friends and family quite enjoy it. But come to think of [...]

I’ve been coming across a few questions lately as to the origins of the “Artsaypunk.” And by that, I guess I mean, that every once and a while, someone says, “What the hell is an Artsaypunk anyway?” Well, I’ve never been the kind of guy that held down a nickname. They just never seem to [...]

After a careful period of surveillance, I have decided that my observation of February 17, 2005 was correct. My fingernails grow faster in February and August than at any other point during the year. These two months, (which bisect the year quite nicely), are the only times that I actually notice that my fingernails are [...]

Alright, I’m getting suspicious. At first, I said to myself, “Ok, the ground is shaking, there’s an earthquake.” The next time I thought, “Hmmm, that’s strange, more earthquakes.” But this last time, I’m thinking, “All, right, what in the hell is going on here?” It seems like every two weeks in Karachi lately the ground [...]

As most of you know, I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep since about late 1995. I’m not exactly sure why this is the case. I’m not one of those stress bag insomniac people, in fact I’m about as chilled out as mango sorbet (and twice as tasty). It’s not that I haven’t had decent [...]

I’ve always felt sorry for Michael Collins, “the other guy” on the Apollo 11 Moon Mission, because I always tell myself to remember his name but I just can’t do it. Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin and um, the other guy. If I were him, I’d be kind of pissed. “Ok, yeah, sure, you guys go [...]

Yesterday I got a haircut. I’m really lazy about haircuts, so it had been a while, and I wanted to clean up around the ears and down around the back of the neck etc. My usual dude was not working, my barber from Bahrain, so I was assigned a guy at random. I’m always a [...]

Last week I was at a get together, or maybe it was a post-party, or maybe it was post-party-get-together, I have no idea. Anyway, someone called my name and I turned to find a girl I had first met many, many months ago and hadn’t really seen since. She does some modeling and is quite [...]

I like it when someone tells me their birthday is coming up because I always reply, “Hey! Mine too!” And if they say, “Wait a minute, I went to your birthday party last month,” I am forced to inform them that, although that may be true, my next birthday is still, without a doubt, “coming [...]

For absolutely no reason that I can think of, I have suddenly found myself with a song from the original Super Mario Brothers Nintendo game stuck in my head. As if that’s not bizarre enough, it’s not the main theme, it’s the one where he’s in the castles. It kind of goes: da ne-na-ne-na-ne – [...]