The Artsaypunk

Last week, the gardener came upstairs and woke me from a nap. First of all, yes, I have a gardener, and secondly, no, he doesn’t usually wake me from my naps (unless I’m snoring, in which case he nudges me gently to roll over). I came groggily to the door, and he said, “Oh! Sahib [...]

Yes, that’s right. Dave is on TV. The boob is on the tube. The first episode of my show aired last week on national television. Now, I have to admit that before I left, when people asked me what the hell I was planning to do in Pakistan, I certainly did not foresee acting in [...]

Well, sadly, and surprisingly, there was no white Christmas in Karachi for me this year. I waited up until midnight, gazing wistfully from the balcony, hoping for that light dusting of snow that makes Christmas so much sweeter. But alas, it was not to be. Of course, the fact that I was wearing a T-shirt [...]

In an unfortunate, Dead Poets’ Society inspired delusion of grandeur, I recently accepted a position teaching English Literature and Language to Grade 9 and 10 students at a private school here in Karachi. The idea being, that I could inspire young minds in the mornings, continue working with the NGO in the afternoons and evenings, [...]

It is with a heavy heart that I garner the courage to relate the final chapter of the pigeon family, with whom I shared my bathroom. For weeks, I had been peeping in on the pigeon sanctuary while I peed. The old Peep and Pee play. I watched the baby pigeons grow from hideous, reptilian [...]

A few days ago, King-Pin asked me casually whether I had plans for dinner. I was curious, since dinner is not something that the King-Pin ever takes casually. He let me know that he was planning a small Nihari excursion, if I was interested. Now, as I believe I have explained somewhere in the mists [...]

Alright, here’s the story. Remember that stand-up comedy bit I did a few weeks back. Well, as it turned out, there was a TV producer there that night. He called me a couple days later, said he thought I was pretty funny, and asked me if I wanted a part in a sitcom he was [...]

The other day, I noticed that my toilet wouldn’t stop running. Before someone told me that I’d better go catch it, and being conscious of water conservation, I decided I’d better see if I could fix it. Most toilets over here are the type with the knob that you pull up from the centre of [...]

Sunday night, I went with some friends to the PAF Museum parking lots, which are serving as the drop point for disaster relief donations from Karachi citizens. I didn’t exactly know what to expect as we headed up there, but I was hoping to help out in some way, however small. When we arrived, we [...]

Yes, folks, I am fine. Thank you for your concern. Karachi is just about as far as you can get from the epicentre of the massive earthquake that occurred yesterday morning in Northern Pakistan. But enough about me. The human toll of this natural disaster will be immense. The count today sits at 18,000, but [...]