The Artsaypunk

I looked down at the moose lying on the side of the highway. Despite being dead, the animal had definitely seen better days. In fact, it was a God-awful mess. By the looks of the strips of fibre-glass lying around, I guessed that the animal had been hit by an 18 wheeler. There’s not much [...]

Subaru: Where’d you guys go to dinner last night? Me: A Chinese place called, “Yuan Tung.” Pretty tasty. Subaru: Yeah, that’s an old Karachi favourite. Me: I wouldn’t know. Subaru: No you wouldn’t. Me: Right. Well, it’s across the street from another Chinese restaurant called “Little China.” But I didn’t want to go there because [...]

I was typing something up and listening to some tunes on Subaru Kazoo’s laptop the other night when I felt a strange sensation, like a small prick. I know what you’re thinking, but I checked, and Subaru Kazoo was not behind me. No, rather, it was like a pin-prick in my left wrist – not [...]

One summer, I was home from University and my brother and I decided to play Soccer in a summer men’s league. Technically, it was called the International Men’s League, which makes it sound like we played Slovakia every third week, but all it meant was that we played one team from the State of Maine. [...]

Hello my confused, hot and sweaty Caucasian brothers and sisters. I know that if you’ve been in this part of the world for any amount of time, you have probably been invited to a Pakistani wedding. This can be a confusing time for you. The cross cultural mish-mash of Islamic and Hindi celebrations that make [...]

That last post reminded me indirectly of a story. This would have been back during my first year in Calgary. I’d only been in the city for a few months, so I was still looking for full time work. I signed up for a temp agency since I can type like a demon fiddles in [...]

Anna and I decided to stay the night in a tree-house banda about a half kilometer back into the forest at the chimp camp. I was excited. Who wouldn’t want to stay in a tree-house in the jungle? And I must admit, just about every crazy-assed thing I do in the third world, I think, [...]

Well, you just can’t tell two stories about Elmer now can you? Elmer has trilogy written all over him. Where to start? Well, for new readers, Elmer was my Beer-Swilling-Eel Fishing-Ex-Uncle-In-Law. A well-known source of childhood trauma in my life. He stands out in my memory because of his amazing capacity to make exactly the [...]

It strikes me that if you know a guy named Elmer, then you better have maore than one story about him. It also strikes me that the “Elmers” of the world must be near extinction. It’s just not a name I see being passed down much longer. I’ve never met any 4-year old Elmers. They [...]

The other night I was having sushi with a friend, and I came dangerously close to telling this story: You see, I can’t eat sushi without thinking of Elmer.  Long before I even knew what Sushi was, I knew Elmer.  He was short and burly.  The hair he did have was cropped short, and he [...]