The Artsaypunk

Of all the fellas that make their living by driving me around, I definitely like Majeed the best. He is always reliable, safe and punctual. But beyond being a good driver, I always felt a bond with Majeed, always sensed a camaraderie which I can’t really explain because he doesn’t really speak much English. Maybe [...]

He was the type of guy who would crawl, naked, a quarter mile through broken glass for a ten-dollar bill and still consider it a sound investment.

A few days ago, I saw what was by far the strangest “up to the minute” news item scrolling across the ticker at the bottom of the screen during CNN. I thought that it must have been a mistake or some kind of joke. It said something like (imagine the scrolling): Australian boy has both [...]

On the way home from work the other night, we were stopped at one particularly long light when I saw some sort of commotion on the sidewalk. There seemed to be a writhing Chimera of tearing, dirty flesh right there on the corner amongst a crowd of beggars. It turned out to be two street [...]

This just in… Five years too late… “The Office” is a hilarious show. Please also note that I am very sceptical about the prospects of an American version. Has that come to air yet, or is it still in development? Americans trying to do British humour just doesn’t work.

To what I’m sure must have been the utmost delight of my mother, I went to church on Good Friday. My friend Cheryl, who incidentally is moving to Canada soon, is a Pakistani Christian and invited me to mass (she even gave me hot-crossed buns)(…to eat). Christians are, of course, a minority in Pakistan, but [...]

It’s taken me quite some time to get used to servants. In fact, in many ways, I would say that I’m still not used to them. I don’t even know what to call them. Some people call them “Peons”, some “Domestic Help”, some just “The Domestics,” some just “the Help,” sometimes “House-Boy.” I just can’t [...]

You know, it’s amazing that I can pin-point the exact moment that my self-esteem was destroyed by woman-kind. I was in grade six. A cute girl in my class approached me, looked up at me in what I would have called a demure way (had I known what that meant), and said, “Has anyone ever [...]

The other night I watched the Grand Finale of “Out-Back Jack” (insert didgerydoo sounds here). I know that right now, everyone I know is saying, “What? How could Dave, the anti-reality show zealot, be watching such a show with such a ridiculous concept?” Well the answer folks, is that I got hooked. You know that [...]

I was just remembering that my Dad always used to say, “David, you’re so full of shit, you’re down a quart.” In retrospect, I have no idea how that even makes sense.